Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
