He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
