"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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