I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
