Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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