its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
