i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I need water and some morals
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
