Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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