she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
