At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
