maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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