im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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