This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
