Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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