proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
