he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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