I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
