Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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