My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
