I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
