Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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