She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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