is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize