I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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