sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
