I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
