Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
