If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
