I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
