I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
