I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
