I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
