Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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