So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
