Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
