I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
