you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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