I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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