You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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