Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i now understand why vodka
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
