haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
