Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it glows. i had to have it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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