By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
