I have demons in me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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