Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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