just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
