Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
