You can't special order awesome
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
