I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
