I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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